Scars

I love christmas but it is also the hardest time of year for me emotionally. last night while out i saw a kid and his dad and the scar that i thought had scabbed over was ripped open again. The scar of my dad not being around for my teenage yrs, the scar that never seems to heal just scab over. When i was in HS i always heard my classmates say how their dad's took them hunting and fishing. Not me my dad was off somewhere else when a new family and a new life and i was part of the old one. I was lucky tha i had my mom and my uncles here to keep me in line but still, it hurt whenever christmas time came around and i didn't get a card or anything from him or his side of the family. He wasn't here for my HS Graduation, he wasn't here for my College graduation, he wasn't here to teach me how to drive, he just wasn't here i was his old life and he had moved on to a new one. I bear him no ill will, and i will always keep the olive branch extended to him to be a part of my life again but i cant make him choose the olive branch and i cant force it upon him the choice is his. Whether he is willing to make past wrongs right or whether he wishes to move on and forget about his old life. Either way i wil be here living the best i can. That is anyone can do or expect of me and that is the best i can give. As for christmas, i will be merry on the outside but inside it will still hurt to see a kid and his dad playing at a walmart or eating at a mcdonalds.